There’s Magic Out There For All of Us

by Emery Lee

I’ve been fortunate enough to have a lot of moments of queer bookish joy since first joining the book community in 2015. Queer books have become such a prevalent part of the YA community, and they’ve been given a lot more spotlight, opening up more opportunities for queer authors and readers alike.  Of course, when I think about an instance of queer joy tied to some of my favorite books, one that always comes to mind is a story about the book What if It’s Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera.

In 2018, I went to my first ever Book Expo of America. BEA is a massive book event held in New York for industry professionals, and living outside of the city, I never thought I’d really have the opportunity to attend. I got really lucky that year and ended up working at a booth with a friend, and the money I made that week paid for my trip into the city. So even though I knew I’d be working the whole week, I also wanted to take advantage of what might be my only chance to go to BEA. My most anticipated read that year was What If It’s Us, so when I found out I’d be going to BEA, my first and only real goal—besides seeing the city for the first time—was to get my hands on an advanced copy.

Anyone who’s been to BEA before knows that the event is wild. There are so many booksellers, librarians, book reviewers, authors, etc. all trying to get their hands on the top books of the coming year, so you can wait in line for hours and still not get a copy. Because I was working the event, it was difficult to get free time to sneak away and try to grab a copy, but I managed to break away about an hour before the signing to hop in line. As I stood waiting, more and more people came to join friends who’d already been standing in line in front of me, and before I knew it, the line moderator cut off the line two people in front of me, letting the crowd know they’d be out of books once that person got theirs. 

It was pretty devastating when I was so close to getting my copy, but I returned to work and went about my day before finally learning that there would be ARC drop—meaning they’d be handing out a bunch of copies, though they wouldn’t be signed—later in the day. I managed to break away again, and after another hour and a half in line, I finally got my copy! 

The book is an adorable little romcom about two boys who have an awkward, post office meet cute and go through the motions of trying to find each other again with the help of the rest of New York City. I devoured it in a day and a half. Not only was it an easy read—and I was on vacation—but it was one of those stories that really sucks you in, shows you characters you can’t help but love, and really hits you at your core. 

So, once my vacation ended, I pulled out my drawing tablet and set to work. I’d been in the middle of a big move, and my usual tablet had actually broken just before, so I was stuck using a tablet I wasn’t that familiar with and that crashed on me every five to ten minutes by the time I reached the end of the piece, but I managed to churn out one of the most colorful art pieces I’d ever done. I spent a week working on nothing but that design to get it done in time for the book’s release, and when I posted it, it got less than 10 notes and immediately faded into oblivion. I ended up posting it over to Tumblr hoping it’d get some traction there, and then I scheduled reblogs of it over a few months to keep it going until it finally started to pick up some steam of its own. 

Flash forward a year and some months, and I was sitting in my living room, waiting to hear back from my soon-to-be editor about a potential offer on what is now my debut, MEET CUTE DIARY. MEET CUTE DIARY is a trans romcom that I originally pitched as a combo of TO ALL THE BOYS I LOVED BEFORE and WHAT IF IT’S US since I wrote it at the end of a diverse romcom high centering these two books. My offer came in, and I was talking to my agent discussing our next steps and goals for the book going forward when I received an email…

…from Becky Albertalli.

I had never met or spoken to Becky before, except for short time when we were Twitter mutuals before she left the platform, so I saw her name on the email and immediately thought I must have signed up for some fan newsletter or something and just forgotten. So I opened the email, and suddenly I’m reading paragraphs about how Becky had found my WHAT IF IT’S US art from Tumblr, and that she and Adam loved it, and they were hoping to retroactively commission me for the art so that they could give it out at events. 

I couldn’t believe it was real, and I ended up reaching out to several different people to ask them if they had any advice on how to verify if an email was legit before finally speaking to a friend who verified it for me. 

And just like that, in one night, things changed so much for me. Not only was I getting a book deal, but the partnership brought new attention to my art and bloomed into a new friendship with one of my favorite authors. It was all extremely surreal, and even to this day, there are a moments I wonder if that actually happened, or if I just had a really wild dream and tricked myself into thinking it was real. 

What made this all so special for me was just the sheer luck and coincidence of this whole situation. There were so many things that had to land perfectly for any of this to play out, and looking back, it feels like it all must have happened that way for a reason. In a lot of ways, I think queer writers and readers feel barred from these lucky encounters that straight people boast about in stories all the time, but this moment was a reminder to me that there’s magic out there for us, and sometimes, things that seem inconsequential are all being pieced together to bring us something we really need. 

At the end of the day, this book will always have a special place in my heart that goes beyond just the story or the act of getting the arc. It’s a book that brought me deeper into the book community, that inspired my own creativity, and made me aware of the magic around me in a way I hadn’t felt since I was a kid, and I think that’s the greatest thing about books, but more importantly, about finding books that connect with who you are as a person. It starts to make you feel like magic is possible, even after you finish the last page.

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Emery Lee is a kidlit author, artist, and YouTuber hailing from a mixed-racial background. After graduating with a degree in creative writing, e’s gone on to author novels, short stories, and webcomics. When away from reading and writing, you’ll most likely find em engaged in art or snuggling cute dogs.