Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week Series
by Ashia Monet
The power of friendship has always been one of my favorite tropes to read and write. Watching a group of strangers become lifelong friends is entertaining in its own right. Adding in the acknowledgement that accomplishing their goals is only possible through the love and trust they have for each other makes this a trope for the ages. Not only is it fun to see characters banter and play off of each other’s strengths, it is heartwarming to watch people learn to love each other platonically.
There’s a very specific beauty to the complexity of friendships—and it’s a complexity that YA could greatly benefit from.
I started reading YA when I was about fourteen. I expected this new (new to me, anyway) genre to greet me with the same emphasis on friendships and platonic bonding that middle grade had introduced me to.
I had a big storm coming.
YA seemed to rely on romantic relationships as a crutch for interesting character relationships and development. It didn’t matter if the romantic interest had even an iota of chemistry with the main character—if it was a YA book, there was a romantic subplot. And this is something that still plagues YA to this day.
Fourteen-year-old Ashia didn’t know she was on the aromantic spectrum. What she did know was that YA was presenting her with a very specific type of relationship that she just couldn’t relate to. Worst, YA’s reliance on romantic relationships made me feel ostracized. I didn’t feel the emotions these books claimed were the epitome of human interaction. This left me—a young, aromantic reader—feeling as if these books weren’t meant for me, despite being the target audience.
YA is teen friendly, but it certainly is not aromantic-teen friendly. This reliance on romantic relationships leaves a whole chunk of human relationships completely untouched, locked behind a door.
I’m not fourteen-year-old Ashia anymore (obviously). I’m in the final few months of my teenage years. And, as I make my dramatic exit out of the YA’s target audience, I’d like to ask for one thing.
I want YA to open the door.
Naturally, YA needs books about the aromantic experience. But it could also benefit from stories that are aromantic friendly. As in, stories that uplift the beauty and nuance of non-romantic relationships. It is entirely possible for a narrative to be fulfilling without featuring romance. There are many other forms of human bonds worth celebrating.
For example, it is often assumed that a narrative featuring queer characters must be in want of a queer romance. But why not have a story about a bisexual adventurer joining a group of queer bounty hunters? Why not have a story about a pansexual boy in southern California supporting his sister when she comes out as pansexual as well? (For $1000 upfront I will give you full rights to my story ideas, I accept cash and check) Limiting narratives of the queer experience to “and then they fall in love” is restrictive. Queer friendships matter just as much. It’s about time we opened the door for them.
When you’re a teenager, your most important relationships aren’t always the romantic ones. Sometimes it’s bonding with a sibling. Sometimes it’s discovering your romantic orientation and learning that you can have love in your life without having a romantic partner.
Sometimes it’s the power of friendship.
I would love to see a future for YA where the forms of love are as diverse as the characters. Where aromantic teen readers do not feel isolated by a genre that seems to doubt its ability to create interesting, non-romantic relationships. YA is in a very fortunate position to tell tons of colorful, lush stories about platonic and familial love. So, let’s open the door for aromantic stories, for aromantic-friendly stories, for stories about grandparents and siblings and cousins.
Let’s open the door for the power of friendship.
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Ashia Monet is a speculative fiction author whose work almost always includes found families, diverse ensemble casts, the power of friendship, and equal parts humor and drama. Some of her favorite things are The Adventure Zone, Ariana Grande, and the color pink. You can follow her on Twitter @ashiamonet and Instagram @ashiawrites. You can also add her debut novel, The Black Veins, on Goodreads.
